Grief, shock, confusion--all the emotions felt by adults following the September 11 terrorist attacks are also reflected in the reactions of children.
Grief, shock, confusion—all the emotions felt by adults following the September 11 terrorist attacks are also reflected in the reactions of children. In schools and churches around the world, children are asking unanswerable questions and looking for reassurance in the face of ongoing uncertainty. And many are finding creative ways to express their feelings.
On the Saturday after September 11, children at a Seventh-day Adventist Sabbath school in Bielefeld, Germany, hand-painted more than a dozen sympathy cards and sent them in a large envelope to the communication department of the Adventist world headquarters in Silver Spring, Maryland, United States. The colorful cards included messages like “Dear children in America, I think of those who have lost loved ones and pray for them” and “I have compassion for you.”
In Washington D.C., one children’s pastor developed a page of talking points to help families talk about their reactions to the tragedy. Ismael Gama, assistant pastor for children’s and family ministries at Sligo Church, says he came up with the idea after many parents asked how they could discuss the events with their kids.
Gama’s “Coping Strategies For Children” includes points such as supervising the amount of television news viewed by children, keeping the lines of communication open, allowing children to discuss their own theories and feelings, and helping them express their feelings to God, in prayer.
“We’re seeing some misunderstandings, mainly about Muslims,” says Gama. “Some of the kids are generalizing.” He says the first reactions of many of the children were anger, misunderstanding, and questioning God—“how could He let this happen.” “Some are simply not sure how to react,” says Gama.
The concerns are changing, he adds. “First it was safety. Now it’s the issue of the whole war. Will uncles and cousins have to help fight?” A 12 ½-year-old asked Gama, “Will I have to go?”
“No,” answered Gama. “You’re not old enough for that yet.”
At Great Oaks Elementary School, an Adventist School in Brooklyn, New York, “many children started screaming when word of the attack first came,” says principal Jasmin Hoyt. “Some of them had parents who worked in the buildings.”
Hoyt says many of the children are still trying to “get a grip on what happened.” She’s doing her best to deal with their feelings both at school and at church, where she serves as regional president of the Adventurer Federation, an Adventist youth organization.
In the past few days children have questioned even more, Hoyt says. “I believe they have become more fearful of being attacked.”
In Greater New York, Adventist youth director Ismael Maisonet says September 11 has impacted the whole youth program. “We had to have a special meeting for Adventurer and Pathfinder leaders,” he says. He had found that leaders were not ready to respond to all the questions young people were asking: “Is this God’s judgment? Is this part of the end-time events?”
Leaders were encouraged to pray about the situation at each local church. Maisonet also wanted leaders and parents to talk with their kids about the tragedy.
Two days after the tragedy his youth group was helping out at ground zero giving water and hot food to rescue workers. “That experience was good for our kids,” says Maisonet.
Now a month later, children are still cautious, he adds. Maisonet has a team that is competing in the Bible Bowl in Chicago on October 29. But 15 of team members will not fly. They will take the nearly 800-mile trip by car. Maisonet has also increased the number of chaperones for the trip.
“I think the best thing to do is to listen to children and to discuss their ideas with them,” says Virginia Smith, director of children’s ministries for the Adventist world church. “Especially if they’re watching the news a lot. It’s really important that adults involve children in talking about this.”
[Translations by Gerhard Pfandl]
