Who says an online marriage can't last? The first couple to be officially married in cyberspace on CompuServe, Rachel Twing and Randy Terwillegar, are celebrating 10 years this month.
Who says an online marriage can’t last? The first couple to be officially married in cyberspace on CompuServe, Rachel Twing and Randy Terwillegar, are celebrating 10 years this month.
They had decided they would never find Mr. or Mrs. “Right,” and were happy living their own lives. But then came “that fateful day,” as Randy called it, in 1995 when they met in cyberspace, and ultimately married online, on Dec. 22 that same year.
Randy and Rachel were members of the Adventist Forum on CompuServe and met when Randy’s brother in Alaska saw Rachel online and discovered she lived in Arizona near Randy. He asked Rachel if she knew Randy, and, though she didn’t, they were soon “talking” to each other.
Beginning with the line, “I was complacent in my singleness until you came along,” Randy proposed in “public” online. Then came an e-mail announcement, 150 guests worldwide who attended online, a minister officiating from Maryland, and a virtual bouquet and garter toss. The minister, Ralph Blodgett, was the system operator of the Adventist Forum.
But, they say, “We thought church members would not understand our cyber wedding, so we got married again in our local church.” That happened the very next day, Dec. 23. And, as Tom Brokaw of NBC Nightly news quipped, “We’ve been told that the honeymoon will not be in virtual reality!” The NBC anchor broke the story on his nationwide program, and local media also covered the event.
Why get married online? “We did because we could, and because of our love for the church. We wanted to do whatever we could do to bring publicity to the Adventist Forum,” Randy says.
Speaking to criticism about relegating the sacred vows of marriage to a virtual reality situation, Rachel explains that the “Internet is a tool. Like snail mail [and] the telephone—it’s a tool.” She adds, “If a person is to go outside the bounds of marriage, it doesn’t make a difference if it’s the Internet or anything else. The marriage is probably broken to begin with.”
Ten years later, what advice would they give to others? “Do it,” says Randy. This is the second marriage for both; Randy was married for 20 years and Rachel for 25.
“Randy is adamant that our children are our children,” says Rachel, explaining that they have no children together. That doesn’t seem to matter. “The Lord has blessed us with three girls and two boys, and 10 grandchildren. They all love each other too.”
Yoda and Obee Wan are also family members to Rachel and Randy. Named after characters from the Star Wars movie, the cats have brought extra joy into their lives.
“We’re just having a good time together,” Rachel says, explaining that because of Randy she is able to do “more stuff for the church than I ever thought I would be” able to do.
Rachel is development director and associate trust services director for the Illinois state headquarters of the Adventist Church, and Randy is a broadcast engineer working as a test technician for an electronics firm.